Ten quiet minutes
This sheet helps you watch your child for ten minutes. You write down a few things you notice. Then you change one thing in the room. You do not try to change your child. You need a pencil and this page. You can print the page, or copy the headings onto any paper.
Watching comes first in Montessori’s way of working. She built her method on what she saw children do. In her method, the adult’s first job is to watch. This sheet uses that idea at home. You can use it with a child of any age, from a baby to a twelve-year-old.
Before you start
- No one has tested this sheet with families yet. It is published so that people can try it. It may change after that.
- It rests on an idea, not on research. The idea comes from the Montessori method. No study has tested this sheet. This site does not know of any study showing that watching like this at home makes a difference for children. This site has not yet searched the research carefully.
- It is not a test. There are no scores and no right answers. It cannot tell you if something is wrong. Do not use it to compare children. If something worries you, talk to a nurse or doctor who knows your child. For example, at a child health clinic or the school health service.
- It keeps nothing. There is no space for your child’s name. There is nothing to fill in on a screen. This site never sees what you write. You can keep the paper or throw it away.
How to do it
- Pick a time when your child can choose what to do. Not at a meal, not with a screen on, and not when you are about to go out.
- Sit where you can see your child. Try not to be in the way. Look at a clock when you start.
- Watch for ten minutes. Do not start talking. Do not suggest, correct or praise. If your child talks to you, answer kindly and briefly.
- Write a few words under each heading on the sheet. You can do this while you watch, or straight after.
- Later that day, read what you wrote. Choose one change to make to the room.
Your child comes first. If your child needs you, put the sheet down and help. Do the same if anything is unsafe. You can try again another day.
What to look for
- What your child chose. What did they go to by themselves, without being asked?
- What your child did again. Did they do something more than once? For example, pouring, building, a question or a movement. In the Montessori tradition, doing something again by choice is seen as a sign of concentration. That is a way of looking at it. It has not been tested. So write down what happened, not what it might mean.
- What your child left. What did they walk away from, give up on or not touch? It might have been too hard, too easy or out of reach. Or they were not interested today. Write it down. Do not decide why.
- What you wanted to do but did not. For example, help, tidy up, correct, praise, suggest something or take a photo. This line is about you, not your child. It shows where you might step in.
Then change the room, not the child
Read your four notes together. Choose one change to the room or to your routine. For example:
- Your child left something because they could not reach it. Move it lower.
- There was a lot to choose from, and nothing kept their attention. Put some things away for a while.
- Your child did something again and again. Leave it where it is. Give it more time.
- You often wanted to step in. Next time, wait a little longer before you help.
Change the room or the routine. Do not try to change your child. That means no new rule, no reward and no talk about behaviour. Then watch again on another day. See what is different. What you see is one child on one day. It does not say anything final about your child or about you.
To read more about setting up a room so that a child can do things in it, see Montessori at Home.
The sheet
Print this part of the page. Or copy the headings onto any paper.
| What to look for | Your notes |
|---|---|
| Day and time (if you want to compare later) | |
| What my child chose | |
| What my child did again | |
| What my child left | |
| What I wanted to do but did not | |
| One change I will make to the room, not to my child |
If you only do one thing
Tomorrow, sit near your child for ten minutes. Do not help unless they ask or need you. Notice one thing they chose.
About this sheet: it describes an idea from Montessori’s method in this site’s own words. It quotes no text. It has not yet been tested with families. Simplified from the full-register version of this page; see that page for the complete, unsimplified account.