Ten quiet minutes
This is a sheet for ten minutes of quiet attention. You sit near your child and watch. You write down what they chose, what they repeated and what they left, and what you wanted to do and did not. Afterwards you change one thing in the room, not in your child. All you need is a pencil and this page, printed or copied by hand onto any paper.
Watching before acting is at the centre of Montessori’s approach. She built her method from what she saw children do, and in that method the adult’s first task is to observe. This sheet borrows that habit for an ordinary home. It can be used with a child of any age, from a baby to a twelve-year-old.
Before you start
- It has not yet been tested with families. It is published so that it can be tried, and it may change once it has been.
- It rests on a principle, not on research. The sheet follows from a principle of the Montessori method, not from research results. No study has tested it. This site knows of no study showing that a short observation like this, done by a parent or carer at home, makes a difference to children, and it has not yet searched the research systematically.
- It is not an assessment. There is no score, no right answer and nothing to diagnose, and it is not a way to compare one child with another. If something you notice worries you, talk to a health professional who knows your child, for example at a child health clinic or in the school health service.
- It keeps nothing. There is no space for your child’s name and nothing to fill in on a screen. This site never sees what you write. Keep the paper, or throw it away.
How to do it
- Choose a time when your child is free to decide what to do: not during a meal, while a screen is on, or while you are getting ready to go out.
- Sit where you can see without being in the way. Note the time when you start, on a clock you can see without getting up.
- Watch. Do not start a conversation, suggest an activity, correct or praise. If your child speaks to you, answer briefly and warmly.
- Write a few words under each heading of the sheet, as you go or straight afterwards.
- Later the same day, read what you wrote and choose one change to the room.
Your child comes first. If they need you, or anything is unsafe, put the sheet down and help. You can try again another day.
What to notice
- What your child chose. What they went to of their own accord, without being asked or shown.
- What they repeated. Anything they did more than once: pouring, building, a question, a movement. In the Montessori tradition, repetition the child chooses is read as a sign of concentration. That is a way of seeing, not a tested finding, so write down what happened rather than what it might mean.
- What they left. What they walked away from, gave up on or never touched. It may have been too hard, too easy, out of reach or of no interest today. Write it down without deciding why.
- What you wanted to do, and did not. Help, tidy up, correct, praise, suggest something, take a photo. This line is about you, not your child. It shows where you might be stepping in.
Then change the environment, not the child
Read the four lines together and choose one change to the room or to the routine. For example:
- Something was left because it was out of reach: move it to where your child can reach it.
- There was a lot on offer and nothing held their attention for long: put some things away for a while.
- Something was repeated: leave it where it is, and leave more time for it.
- You often wanted to step in: next time, wait a little longer before helping.
The change is to the room or the routine, never to the child: not a new rule, not a reward and not a talk about behaviour. Then watch again on another day and see what is different. What you see is one child on one day. It is not a verdict on your child or on you.
For more on arranging a room so that a child can act in it, see Montessori at Home.
The sheet
Print this part of the page, or copy the headings onto any paper.
| What to notice | Your notes |
|---|---|
| Day and time (if you want to compare sheets later) | |
| What my child chose | |
| What my child repeated | |
| What my child left | |
| What I wanted to do, and did not | |
| One change I will make to the room, not to my child |
If you only do one thing
Tomorrow, sit near your child for ten minutes. Do not help unless they ask or need you, and notice one thing they chose.
About this sheet: it describes a principle of Montessori’s method in this site’s own words and quotes no text. It has not yet been tested with families.